Dark Days

I always try to stray from getting too "personal" on my blog. 

I know how much people look forward to bright and happy pictures....

But the more I think about it, now that I am back, I really should give an explanation for the previous four months of barely posting.Not because I owe it to anyone but because maybe just maybe if anyone else has gone through this and can relate, they will know they aren't the only one.

Because people need to know it's perfectly okay to experience "dark days" that there is nothing wrong with you, it happens to the best of us. We get overwhelmed and depressed and sometimes just step away from everything leaving lose ends everywhere.

My dark days lasted for four months. 

Some of you already know that slightly over a year ago I was hospitalized for a week with blood clots running from below my knee, into my stomach and in my lungs. 

By the time I actually became concerned and went to the hospital they were very surprised I hadn't died. 

 And why did I wait? Well I had a blog, a business, a family, limited income, three kids to raise, a big family Easter to plan and my daughters 3rd birthday party. I wanted to do it ALL. I didn't have time to get a silly pain in my leg checked out!

It took 2 surgeries, and a month and a half of just learning to walk again. I had destroyed nerves by waiting so long. 

Months after healing I thought I was good, I went back to my daily life. Not considering my leg will never be quite the same. 

I have good days and bad days. When my blood thinning medication is off my leg hurts so bad I have to rest it all day, sometimes for days on end. I was told by all of the doctors this is going to be a lifelong issue despite the surgeries and the stent and filter they put in my leg.

Around November when the holidays started creeping up, I started to get really really sad. I couldn't do all that I used to do on this darned leg anymore. It REALLY started to hit me that this is forever. It's not going away. And I got the blues {depression, dark days, whatever you want to call it} It puts a dent in my plans because I never know if I am going to have a good day or a bad day where I can't walk as much.

The more depressed I got, the less I felt like doing. I just couldn't shake it.

It took four long months before I actually started to shake it loose and feel like myself again. I still have days where I feel a little dark and broody but for the most part I am good. I have come to terms with realizing there will be good days and there will be bad days. I try to take advantage of the bad days by crafting in bed.

Anyways so that is the real reason why I was so sporadic with my blog for so long. I missed you all and am STILL trying to go through and catch up with everyone.

Take note~If you feel a nagging pain, it's better to get it checked out and be safe than sorry.

Trust me!

I am so glad to be back to posting regularly and seeing what wonderful things everyone else has been up to!